Why I fear to piss off women

Alternate title from Sara was “Balls, a mans’ pride, a woman’s best weapon!”

A woman sat on the couch, tapping her fingers impatiently on the arm. She was eager for her husband to return home, looking forward to punishing him for his transgressions.

She visibly struggled to master her temper, having to take several moments to calm herself. She wanted to be cool, calm, and collected when that bastard walked in the door.

All her plans of calm disappeared when she heard his car pull into the driveway. The woman stood, hoping that her pacing would help her relax.

Instead she felt her anger swell as it threatened to overwhelm her. It took everything she had to stop herself from charging at him and beating him bloody. Though she wasn’t a large woman, her bite more than matched her bark when she was angry.

James stepped into the house, smiling as he walked over to give her a hug. He didn’t even notice her temper. “How was your day today, honey?”

She just glared at his back as he set dinner on the table. She watched him go into the kitchen, still glaring at him when he came out.

James finally noticed the hostile attitude wafting off his wife. “Is there something wrong?” he asked as he continued to set the table.

“You ruined my fucking shirt.” she said, attempting to keep the heat and a tremor from her voice. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve had that shirt? My sister gave it to me before she went off to college. It’s the last thing I had left of her, after Mom’s house fire.” Venom dripped from her teeth as her body began to change. She grew an inch to her height and a half inch to her incisors. “Why would you use it as a rag? Now I can’t get the damned paint and grease off of it, and there’s a hole right over my nipple!” her skin was lobster red with anger.

James seemed to shrink a little under her rage. “I didn’t realize, dear. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to ruin it.”

“But you did! I’ve been sitting here all day, waiting to give you a piece of my mind!”

At her continued attack, James tried again. He walked over, looking to take her in his arms as he said, “I really mean it, I’m sorry.”

She stepped out of his arms, pushing him away with anger. He stumbled, needing to reach out a hand and catch a chair to steady himself.

Now he swelled as his anger started to bubble. James seemed to grow two feet to his height, and a beard that stretched to his belly button. “What the hell you, dumb bitch. You expect me to take that?” he demanded stepping closer to tower over his wife.

She considered cowering away, then remembered her last boyfriend. He’d beaten her until she was bloody the one time she had cowered from him.

Before she knew what she was doing she grabbed James by his testicles, squeezing them tightly and dragging him down to her level. “I don’t really think you understand just how tiny of a dog house you’re in. Your feet and ass are hanging out the front. I suggest you start giving in to what I want, or I’m going to hurt you.”

James glared down at her, “I would never hit you, so do your worst.”

Her ire raised again, and she grabbed him by his beard, yanking his balls up towards his chin. “Here, let’s see if you can suck your own balls.” she taunted him.

James began to shrink as the pain overwhelmed his anger. Soon he was on his knees, begging for mercy. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t understand the gravity of this situation. I thought it was just a shirt, but I guess it wasn’t. What can I do to make up for it.”

She started to shrink from her overgrown size, her teeth losing some of their sharpness. The venom that dripped from her teeth lost some potency. “You can ask for a week off from your job, and we can do like we said we would. Tour Europe and deposit bits of my sweet sister in each country.”

“How the hell am I supposed to pay for all that?” he demanded.

In answer, she twisted her fist.

“Alright, alright!” he yelped out, “I’ll find a way to pay for it! Within six months.”

The woman tightened her grip just a bit more.

“Fine, at least give me three months so I can make it worthwhile!”

His wife shrank to her normal size, releasing her vice like grip from him. She patted him on the chest as she said, “Thank you love. I knew you’d come to see things my way.” she stood up on her tippy toes, kissing him on the very end of his nose.

#RileyAmosReviews, the “I’m awake, I’m awake.” edition, part 5!

Claimed (Servants of Fate Book 2) by Sarah Fine *NEW RELEASE*

I enjoyed this book very much.  I didn’t read the first book but this book was very interesting and had me on the edge of my seat.  I liked the character of Galena and think she is very relatable even thought I will never be a scientist.  The book was a very busy book with lots of interesting things going on.  Thank you to Netgalley and 47 North for giving my a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*   5/5

Remember, if you’d like to be a part of any of the segments on the blog, or maybe if you want to do a guest post (Haven’t done that one yet!) drop me a line at RileyAmosReviews(At)gmail(.)com and I’ll see what I can do! Until next time!

#RileyAmosReviews, the “I’m awake, I’m awake.” edition, part 4!

Days of Throbbing Gristle , by Kevin Cole

1980s here I come!  This was book a blast to my past, sort of.  I great up in the 80s.  This long and enjoyable novel is about Samuel, a very troubled teen who goes to America in the tail-end of the 1980s to escape his life.  I think the book gave me a lot to think about but it was engaging and fun to read. * I received this book from the author in exchange for an honest review*  5/5

#RileyAmosReviews, the “I’m awake, I’m awake.” edition, part 3!

Moonlands , by Steven Savile

With Moonlands, we began with a good setting and plot, lots of magic, hidden worlds, many supernatural species, but it did not keep my attention like I thought it would. Relationships between characters felt like they were not full enough for me. Ashley’s childhood background story is non-existent. Details were only given for a few characters added in the story. The multiple first-person viewpoints were never confusing for me.  I wish I could this book more starts but it just was not as good as I hopes it would be. * I received this book from netgalley in exchange for an honest review*  3/5

#RileyAmosReviews, the “I’m awake, I’m awake.” edition, part 2!

Trouble in the Keys , by Susan Stafford

I enjoyed this book.  It made me remember being in Key West.  I went on a honeymoon to Key West the trip was great anyway!  It was nice there but I was looking for beached which I was told when I was there that in Key West there was only man-made beaches.  booo!    This book made me remember the good times of my trip.  You should try it, if you have never been to Key West then you can go with this book. Book 2 I’m sure will be good too.  *I received this book from the author in exchange for an honest review*  4/5

#RileyAmosReviews, the “I’m awake, I’m awake.” edition, part 1!


Hollowed Humusara , by J.L. Bond

Just like the Eleventh Elementum (Primortus Chronicles #1) book, I enjoyed this book very much.   This was a book that took us deep into the world and the characters.  You should check out this series is it very interesting and different to me.  I think if you like fantasy & dystopian books you should give this series a try.* I received this book from the author in exchange for an honest review*    5/5